Tuesday, September 9, 2008

"Temporarily on Hold"

That's right...it looks like these college plans are temporarily on hold. Put off, again, to an unforseeable future date.
Perhaps I should have gotten the job and gotten moved into a new apartment before even thinking about these things.
I was just so excited, so passionate.
I dive right in.
Who knew how hard it would be? (well, I did, but didn't want to remember)

Something eventually has to "give". I know I am meant to do this. I just haven't yet figured out how. It does make me want to cry...sort of.
I've been trying so hard to sort through the issues.
I've made such progress filing forms and overcoming fears and doubts.

What a damn shame that lack of money has to come between me and my dreams!

The questions I am asking myself now are:

*if all my top choice schools are in the Mid~Atlantic, should I move back there now and apply for school next autumn? By then I may qualify for even more money in aid because my income this year was even less than last.

* do I even really need college? can I get the info I want by self-guided study?

* do I need a degree to do the work I want? (I think the answer here is yes, I do)

I am just too stressed at the moment to think clearly and see a way through this tangled web.
So, I am going to avoid thinking and talking about these plans as much as possible for the next few days.

Blog entries, if I make any til then, will be more about my subjects of interest than the process of applying/admissions or financial aid.

PS I very much encourage readers to leave comments, even just say hello and let me know you took the time to see what's going on with me.
Thank you.

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