I need to get over my fear of making phone calls to my desired schools if I am going to be serious about this journey.
In a way my fear is a form of protection; it means I have not yet made a commitment to actually DOING this.
I WANT to do it. My INTENTION is to do it.
But I still do not know how. How am I going to pay for it? Where am I going to live while studying if it means moving back to the northeast?
If I do not take steps towards contacting schools, I can stay in my comfort zone. I do not have to worry about making actual plans to relocate yet again or to being in a strange environment with no money or support system.
Truth: Thinking about these things TERRIFIES me. It is much safer to read about my subjects of interest on the web or in books.
Some of my other reasons for not calling:
*Do not know what questions to ask.
*Fear of sounding stupid or uninformed.
*Fear of being judged or shuffled aside.
*Fear that I won't be able to get into the courses I want ( "so why try?" syndrome)
I am now setting down some goals for myself to work on in the days ahead. My goal is to get the courage and confidence to start calling my top choice schools by Monday of next week (September 1,2008).
Some real, tangible ways I plan to work towards this goal include:
*Make a list of questions including asking "Can you direct me to the person I need to speak to about admissions for adult nontraditional students?" (etc.)
*Requesting printed catalogs (do colleges still send out printed catalogs in this online age?!?)
Your good wishes and positive thoughts mean a lot to me!